venting, closure, confession, social networking, advocating a new direction, building a case to leave the borg, kicking a dead horse, assisting the abused, warning the public, cursing god and religion, justifying actions, filling time, belonging to something, education, identifying mental disorders, condemning hypocracy, highlighting errors of the past, making fun of other people, self pity, hope for recovery???.
as a newby, i can't tell ....
I have personally found that, if those on this board have a mission, that mission is to help others who have been betrayed by the watchtower. They themselves have been hurt and they want to help others through it. I came for that help and advice and have recieved it in abundance.
It kept me, my husband and my children from breaking down emotionally.
michael jackson has been quoted as having no friends.
some here would like to blame his jw upbringing.. being a exjw, do you have trouble making and/or keeping friends?.
philip.
My youngest son aged 13 has no close friends,outside of school, post JW.. All the oportunities for him to develop close friends at primary school were lost, as I told him that they could only be friends at school, play with them near our house, but they couldn't come in and of course, he couldn't go to their parties, houses etc. He was absolutely forbidden to make them his 'best friends.'
Recently I have noticed that my son tends to wait for other kids to approach him and he gets upset if they don't. He doesn't know how to get a conversation started. (he is also a little shy)He also doesn't see his school friends outside of school and doesn't know how to instigate this.
I actually signed him up on msm messenger. Unfortunately, he says he runs out of conversation after about a minute of writing'what are you doing?'
We bought him an ipod to help him to be more 'cool'..He not that interested really. but tries to act like he's enjoying kanye West.
I wonder sometimes what might be going through his head. It's been about 2 years since we left and after years of indoctrination, I wonder if psychologically his ability to make close bonds with 'worldy' children has been hindered.
For myself, personally, I haven't had too much trouble making friends. I feel like I have just reverted to my lifestyle before I became a JW. I joined when I was 28. I think this helps because up till then I had a normal life and a normal upbringing unlike my son.
(on proofreading this, i feel that this is more preachy then i meant it.
so as a disclaimer, i hope you know that if you get that impression, that i didn't mean it that way.
having said that, this is what i feel, so if you relate to this in any way, enjoy.
I think it all depends on how much you've lost or in the process of losing. If only you could just 'walk off into the sunset'.
last year, i listened to a talk on cd from a member of the governing body, brother losch.
he says the dead bodies will be all over the place and we will have to bury them.
it has been mentioned on this forum many times.. so i knew that my family had not heard the talk, or else they would definitely have talked about it.
Where shall I start? it's hard to choose.
When 3 elders told me in 1 week that the brothers and sisters were to blame for 1975.
when an old 'friend' said, even if she saw coruption in the Governing Body, she would not leave.
When 2 pioneer 'friends' said, whilst refering to the generation change." It makes perfect sense."
(The fact that they both said this to me, when they were both from different congregations made me wonder if all the pioneers had been told to say this.)
most jws dread the thought of never being talked to again by a fellow "brother" or "sister".
the thought of being shunned by your flesh and blood keeps many witnesses in the religion.. is df'ing or dissasociation all that terrible?
?.
I still have my family, so I got off lightly.. I lost all my 'friends' though.. and I can't pretend. It hurt.
a couple of things that come to mind: celebrate holidays and go tieless..
I have much more time!and life seems so much simpler, even though I am very active.
I can now study for a teaching degree( just finising 1st year)
I can now take up training opportunities at work( just completed a course)
I can sleep in on Saturdays and am enjoying many enjoyable hobbies; including, becoming a scout leader and my son a scout.
I enjoy wonderful birthday, christmas, newyear and easter celebrations. I felt the joy of watching my son open his presents and cards for his 13th birthday. I am looking forwards to going to my dads 80th birthday party.
I can be myself and speak from the heart.
I have more friends at work. I am catching up on all the films I've missed.( Before I only watched 12 certificates and less.)
the grandma just got some instructions from one of the elders on how to handle babysitting her infant grandchild.
when the daughter brings the baby to the house, she should hand it to the grandpa.
(that's ok because grandpa has never been baptized).
If only it was so straight forwards...
children often have a very special relationship with their grandparents. If the grandchild doesn't see grandma then there is a loss to the child and to the daughter who may want to share her child's love with her own mother.
Of course the distructive Organisation strikes again!
Causing pain to all concerned!
the grandma just got some instructions from one of the elders on how to handle babysitting her infant grandchild.
when the daughter brings the baby to the house, she should hand it to the grandpa.
(that's ok because grandpa has never been baptized).
i needed room when i moved so i sadly threw my entire library away.
i mentioned this to an exjw.
he and his wife took all the hundreds of books, including bound volumes from the 1800s and are now using them for research and proof of watchtower lies.. what did you do with your books?.
To start I threw out the revelation book. Then all the stored magazines. Later I took all the books off the shelves and put single copies into my son's room, as he is still going. (He keeps them in a black sack under his bed) I then took down my pioneer picture and threw out my pioneer book. Next went the tapes and videos and Dvds. Lastly I threw out the New Word Translation. Then I stopped calling God Jehovah. This week after being shunned by the last ones to completely shun me, I deleted all JW phone numbers. So now, I'm all clear.
i followed my instincts that the changes my 14 year old son is going through ran deeper than teenaged angst and i made an appointment for him to see a counselor through the county so he could talk to someone.
it took two months to get it.
we went yesterday, he and i. i spoke for a little about our life now, including the separation, the house, the jws, the shunning, my husbands alcoholism and his treatment of the kids, my husbands familial bipolar and depression and adhd...and then she spoke to my son separately.
I am so sorry that your son is in such distress.
Yet, he is able to recognise that he needs help.That is the first step to recovery.
You were very proactive in taking him to a counselor.
x SC
